2 weeks

since my last post :(

"get my heart out of this hell and my mind out of the jail" - kanye west

i'm becoming incredibly and inexpressibly lazy...

alot of stuff has happened... lets see if i can remember half of it.
uhh. ryans bday. was inexpressibly amazing.
i said "golden" 250 times. at least.

o btw. my mom let me go to his party.
because of this HUGE fight we had the week before it.
which she caused. for no real reason at all.

she shouldve just left me alone...
but she followed me around the house screaming at me
and apparently i hurt her feelings.

anyway... party was amazing...
long dayys.

uhh. soo. girl stuff. blehh.

i thought that a particular person was finally done with me.
but. apparently not.
and its better that way.

people always say... avoiding your problems solves nothing
however. avoiding mine. or not talking about them.
has greatly improved things in my favor.

thenn. this other person...
i think... is a compulsive liar.
maybe i'm just paranoid...
but my heart tells me.... LIAR.

hehehe. its not really a big deal though
because. i'm no longer becoming attached to people...
i love too hard :D

uhm. ooo yeah. soo.
this one night.
i standed up talking to the MOST amazing person.

this was a life altering conversation.
i wish i could remember all of it.
but i do have particular parts tucked away in my head.

i do have to say...
don't say anything behind someones back that you wouldn't mind them knowing
because. like this person. they find out. or have a good inclination about what you say.

sometimes i wonder if i see things that people don't.
or maybe i have more understanding...
or maybe... i'm the dumb one...
idk... very complicated.

i'm a lover.
just wish you felt the same.