seems like i should write.

idk...

once again... my world is collapsing
BLAHH

idc anymore.
i just can't lose you again
and i hope you read this last one... maybe

i love you.
but. idk. you make me feel... nervous?
eventually... i'll truly figure out what i want from you...

uh.. i forgot to call my dad.
i really meant to this time...
but i really dont know what i should say to him.

because. in all honesty. i want him to solve a problem.
that he has had for god knows how long.
is that really fair?

at the same time... is it really fair to ask me to deal with his problem?
i think not... soo. maybe i can just tell him that.
however, i'm not as good with confrontations as most people believe.
not when i care about the person.

i should really be sleeping...

uhh on a completely unrelated note...
there is this girl.
who seems like she would be a really cool friend...

but... *chuckle* i dont really know her.
well obviously i know of her.
but i doubt we will ever actually interact
perhaps i should pursue this interest...

i lose interest quickly. sometimes.

i want to tell you that... my mind is like... shredded paper.
thats been shredded twice. so that out of a whole sheet.
all thats left is little square pieces.

and on each one of these little square pieces.
is an idea. that is connected to all those other squares.
but completely unrelated.

and. all these squares have been dumped into a fish bowl.
and talking to you. is like. scooping out those wet squares.
and trying to fix them into a sentence. that makes sense.
in any language at all...

i'm going to read...