Heartbeat

so. this isnt exactly what i had in mind.

and the scheme for it actually making sense is only in my head

buuut it's as done as its gonna get tonight.

thanks for the people that helped me with the heartbeat :D

and sorry for being depressing...

oh and only the people tagged can read this so if you think i should shoow a certain person lemme know so i can add them to the privacy thing..

and. the 2nd to last line doesn't follow the scheme. cause i said so.

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Ba-boomh

ba-boomh

Ba-boomh

ba-boomh

heartbeat

of a boy

not quite

a man

Barely

alive

His death

At hand

Heart races

Time slows

He knows

Its over

And yet

He runs

for one

last moment

Ba-boomh

ba-boomh

Ba-boomh

ba-boomh

Bleeds out

Onto

the dark

dirty pavement

his home

not far

is where

he heads

to see

his family

one last

sad time

no chance

for life

he sees

in sight

Ba-boomh

ba-boomh

Ba-boomh

ba-boomh

and yet

he fights

throughout

the night

and from

the mist

he sees

his house

a final

bright spectre

to end

his life

heart slows

face drains

he's all

most home

Ba-boomh

ba-boomh

Ba-boomh

ba-boomh

the steps

he sees

too far

to reach

he never

makes it

to the

front door

he dies

ten feet

from his

own home

young mans

lifes end

before

his prime

Ba-boomh

ba-boomh

Ba-boomh

ba-boomh

the sound

ripped from

this boys

young soul

taken by

a bullet

in to

his skull

not meant

for him

innocent

bystander

potential

destroyed

before

it began

senseless

violence

caused

his end

__________________________________________________________________________________________________

tumblr

is where everyone now blogs.

but i'm not much for pictures?

so i'll stay with my blogger that i never really update anymore anyway

causeee i just don't have anything interesting to say.

oh. wait. no i have a speech.

that i prepared while relieving myself earlier.

you can have all the gifts in the world.

but if you don't find a way to apply them that benefits anyone at all.

they are for not.

because. no one will ever see you shine

the world will not marvel at your contributions

and you will fade away into the abyss.

forgotten.

without a single footprint

in the sand of life.

i thought of this because.

i'm the smartest person ever.

buut my problem is i haven't found an application suited for me.

buut i'm working on it.

i promise.

okay maaybe i just lied. just perhaps.

it'll come. it'll come.

just be patient....

mistakes

you never know what one is until after the fact.

i've been cutting ties to a lot of people recently.

i haven't really found too many new people worth keeping around.

once football is over, i don't know what kinda person i will be.

but i do know. i'll probably be alone.

i pretty much left the only girl i've seriously been with in high school.

it hurts. a lot.

but somethings you just have to do.

i'm distancing myself.

football is my life. every morning day and night is spent on football.

its strange how much of my focus is on a predominantly physical game.

i am the smallest person of the field. i must know the game better than anyone else.

anyone. i'm a very confused random happy little boy.

i have fun at school

no homework

no stress

andd all my little problems will eventually work themselves out.

i'm too young for headaches.

mood swings

i have the worst mood swings.

it makes it hard to make any substantial decisions.

what i want one day is not what i want the next

so for now. i am. just here.

and i will continue to be here.

as long as i don't have to make anything substantial before the end of football

i think i'll be good

cause football is routine

and routine is what i require.

Haha

why try.

i won't get down over this.

you said we might as well end now..

go ahead and do it.

buuuut it's not over

and we BOTH know that.

in other news.

i can't seem to get drunk anymore...

oh well.

another habit off the list...

just got one left. haha.

i miss a certain something, that it looks like i won't be having for a long time.

whatever. i'll live.

and if i can't. i'll just break a few morals... ohwell

that kinda describes my life right now.

just ohwell. everything'll work out.

Nazi Zombies

have nothing to do with this post, but at the same time have everything to do with it.

nobody really knows about this blog, except for people i oddly trust.

though i don't necessarily hang out with them.

anyway. the blog that i'm currently writing.

i had the oddest experience this morning

it was between a hallucination

a dream

and a really bad hang over...

it was like, i got involved with this girl

and it was just a normal day, and we chilled with my friends

but i was reading the book(actually)

but flashes of this alternate reality came flashing through my head.

and no matter which of the two worlds i was in, i had the worst headache of my life.

it was pretty horrendous... idk if i'd ever wanna go through that again.

but again. back to the blog at hand.

about my beautiful day.

i spent most of the day at jackie's playing games and generally getting beat...

i went home to grab my charger, when a person i have recently started associating with text me

requesting my presences at a local hang out spot, for the debut of a high school band, ish.

seeing as how this particular person has limited activity out of her home, i decided to go.

and what i stumbled on was one of the best most random spontaneous nights of my life

it is nights like this that i LIVE for.

an opportunity presented itself, i pursued it

and i had a kickass time

no drugs

no alcohol

just a bunch of teenagers, sitting in a parking lot

did i mention i managed to miss the entire show yet still stay for 2 hours?

i simply loved it.

in other news. i get easily disinterested with other girls.

i hate directing blogs towards people, but what's the point of acting like it's not to you.

Haley, this break IS good for us. or at the very least me.

it's showing me just how much i'm not compatible with anyone around but you..

i can't/won't put up with anyone else's shit.

you think i'm bad about texting you back, i straight ignore other girls.

i can't imagine a senior year without you.

it would be utterly pointless.

like nothing would hold any value without you...

all of that being said.

i'm still enjoying it.

i'd wish you'd be back already, but i'm making the best of it.

and that's just the truth.

you know, i may always wonder what may have been.

but i know what's best for me.

kinda.

is anybody out there?

it feels like i'm talking to myself.

eminem is beast.