and i repeat...

fuck this.

i shouldn't have to deal with it.

on my mind.

idk why, but i have been thinking about being single.

and it's not in a negative aspect about my girlfriend.

it's more about how much i'll miss her.

how i'll miss how we understand each other.

cause even if i find the most chill girl in the world.

she won't know the little things to do that'll make the day special.

she won't know how to calm me down,

how to leave me alone when i want to be left alone,

how to talk when i say go away.

honestly, i'm not looking forward to starting over.

for multiple reasons.

idk what its like not to have a serious relationship. or a main.

preferably, we'll be getting back together after a short break.

i try my hardest not to be a liar, though i'm good at it(i gotta have one good trait)

so how do i approach another female as anything but a fling.

and i'm just not good with "hoes" or "slutty" girls.

i like relationships. but i don't know if i can be by myself for a month. or two.

and people tell me, that i should be able to just wait for her to come back

be happy hanging out with my guy friends, and just being by myself.

i'm just not that kinda person. i like interest. the opposite sex is there for a reason.

all in all.

i wish my baby didn't have to leave.

fuck this

i shouldn't have to deal with it.

uhm...

yeah so i got on facebook today

and there were 3 separate new relationships...

and i'm not gonna lie, made me a little sad.

cause everyone is getting together and being happy,

and my relationship is coming to an end...

and there isn't really anything i can do to stop it.

isn't that a shitty way to start a sunday morning.

it's just one of those days

12 days until my birthday

i hate the feeling i'm losing you.

but i will lose you

and there isn't a single thing i can do about it.

i hate it.

i love you so much.

you don't even understand.

anyway.

i feel, restless.

like i should be doing so much more than i am.

i hate being home

it's pointless

a waste of quality time.

seniors are leaving, though a lot of people will be local.

it's just gonna be different not seeing them everyday

three years together kinda has an impact.

i wanna fight

no one in particular... but i just want to beat the shit out of someone

i think it'd help...

maybe it's the lack of football, of contact

buut idk i feel aggressive.

i'm losing control, already. it's too early

this isn't how i planned it...

i gotta start again... cause this whole dealing with my problems isn't really working...

i might wanna call my dad before i have to actually go over there.

i feel pent up, i need relief...