RAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWRRRRRRRRR

FUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
me sideways :)

this shall be a wrap up of my weekend.
it SUCKED.
one of the most inspirational i have ever known in my life was buried.
i had to sing in 2 of her services.(i can not sing to save my life)
all of the people i am close to regarding church i had to watch cry
and i could not express the emotions i had in the same way.

for some reason. death is no longer a problem for me.
i dont think it ever was. people die.
its unexpected. its painful. but its a fact of life.
however, the constant crying, and the morose stature of everyone around me
unbearable.
sooo i drink their pain away.

i havent talked to my dad in 2 weeks, since i told him how i truly felt.
dont think i feel the need to have that burden also...
uhhhh some people just have no boundaries.
"sorry" does not fix anything.
i think it should be stricken from the english language.
because "nice" people use it as an excuse to be assholes.

(for that special someone)
btw... the thing i wanted to talk about...
its how you think it wud be cool to hang out with my friends, without me
WE BROKE UPP BITCH. find your own friends to hang out with.
and if their lame... thats your fucking problem.
its funny how you were coming over... until you found out i was there.
yes it was "weird" its suppose to be, seeing as you broke my fucking heart.

back to everything else...
i let a valuable friend slip away...
for something really stupid... and dumb.
that shouldnt have happened. its my fault.
i apologize. a heartfelt sincere apology.
i hope you talk to me again... sooner than later...

uhhhh i think i pretty much covered everything...
no wait... today.
today was... indifferent.
by the way, love, you didnt fuck up as bad as you think.
me and the fam cleaned upp the majority of the house.
for my mommy. so she can feel better.
that felt nice.

i bought my "Wu-Tang" shirt from Hot Topic.
o and i saw will's purple jacket bahahaha
the guy kinda freaked me out
he kept saying stuff like "cool dude" or "nice, nice"
i think it was because i'm black :/

That wraps my craptacular weekend.
it ended better than it started... by far...
i'll try to write again sooner...
i've been slacking :/

Today

soo today is a day of mixed emotions.
i finally got to saw my grandma
who i havent see in... about 5 months.

i forgave someone... who possibly scarred me for life
that wasnt easy
but it had to be done... not for me but for others

and i told my dad he's an alcoholic.
that i won't tolerate it anymore
and i cant stand to be around him

i need a fucking hug

New start

so today was my first date with my NEW girlfriend.
she's cool... even though she thinks she like runs me
and she's taller than me :( but whatever

uh in other news.... i'm not sure if i'm passing:/
my back hurts like hell cuz i like to land on my spine
i'm kinda coming to terms with stuff

i wonder if anyone else wonders how beautiful the moon is
its like one of the more constant beautiful wonders
nothing like lookin at a half moon after running 400m

Yes i'm finally making improvements in my life
i'm doing three lines per idea
instead of my usual four

March 02, 2009

uhhh so much happened today... can't even begin to describe it...
silly slut decides its alright to like my best friend...
he had enough common sense to tell me...
long story short. me and that ho are no longer on friendly terms.

its good to have loyal friends...
saved me alot of time and trouble...
i learned a valuable lesson today...
people change. everyone has demons.
some people just dont hide them as well(me)

this blog is really just an outlet for me...
cuz i only know of one person who cares enough to read it(thanks will :D)
to sum it all up...
that bitch can burn
zach will always be down to ride
and i'm gonna be in a pissy mood for about a week... here comes the demons

Mike Nathaniel Manning

my alter ego.
he is an asshole
he does not care what you think
he uses people
he says whatever the hell he is thinkin
i finally gave him a name.
he's apart of me.
get use to it.