i like

sunshine.

no really, i like when people comment humorously

to serious things.

i think they should change like on facebook to agree.

cause i feel bad liking someone's horrible day, when i have had a horrible day also

just an idea, it would make more sense.

i wish i didn't have to worry after every time

it kinda takes away from the moment.

oh well, won't dwell on that.

my ankle really hurts. but i don't wanna tell anyone

they'll bench me.which doesn't put me in a good position.

cause i'm not going this weekend already, though i am going next.

speaking of which, this weekend will be less than fantastic.

my gf is leaving the ENTIRE time.

she told me not to worry, i still do.

i don't trust anything with a penis.

if it's not rock, it's inferior.

something about the harmony between someone batshit crazy on drums

and another person ripping through chords on a guitar

i want to start a band.

but i'm not really good at any instruments

though i think if i found a big band, i could do percussion stuff like slipknot

which would give me an excuse to headbang on stage.

cause that's really all the clown does...

all you had to say

was no.

and that would have been enough.

but, you couldn't do that.

maybe your lying to yourself.

or your lying to me.

either way

this one thing. is ripping us apart.

it's not the first time.

it's not the second time.

this is a cycle of you fucking me over.

for the same person.

you were the first girl. i ever gave my heart to.

you might not be my first love.

but i gave myself to you

completely. and now.

we repeat our cycle.

idk why i don't end it.

i'm shaking from anger.

rage.

i want to hit something.

i'm trying so hard not to be harsh.

idk. maybe i'm not giving you a chance.

i'm trying now.

i am

less than enthused.

diamonds banquet wasn't horrible.

it's just that a lot happened this weekend that i couldn't do.

you want me to trust you.

things like today break it.

i don't feel like blogging.

foggy. bye.

so

it's just one of those days.

nothing seems to really go right.

we still don't have a banquet dress for her.

which means i don't have a shirt/tie combination...

i'm paranoid as hell.

buuut i don't have a reason not to be, yet.

but is that really fair, i do my fair share of flirting.

idc. i'm a hypocrite and i know it.

aw this is like hell week. practice from 2 30 to 6 30. minus today.

which i didn't have football and skipped band.

and that makes me wonder

about what if i had gone to band instead, we wouldn't be fighting.

what if i had let her go to her thing, we wouldn't be fighting

what if i had better control, we wouldn't be fighting

what if i just ignored things better, we wouldn't be fighting

i really need someone to talk to.

oh so my friend made me think.

cause he's all player player, but he really wants to lock this one girl down.

and that's how i feel, sometimes.

then i realize how asinine that sounds.

maybe, if you said it to me, it wouldn't sound so stupid.

eh. whatever. we already have our plan. it might work.

it'll hurt next year. but that's so far away

maybe things will change.

anyway.

i need help finding this song

all i can remember is

"woke up this morning"

i'm almost certain it's not the song from the sopranos.

unless it was covered by someone else.

it sounds more bluesy.

if you have a suggestion or an idea. please please text me.

832 766 4430

the past few

days have been hell.

everything is falling apart.

i don't have enough glue to put it back together.

please help.

please don't give up.

it's there, we just have to find it.

i need gorilla glue...

you know

those little flash things they have in MIB.

i wish i had one of those.

to filter out all the bad stuff in my life.

in my relationships.

and the shit i just shouldn't know.

but i don't.

so fuck this.

and i can't type with my index finger, ha.