some gibberish

first of all. i didn't delete my blog, it posted when it shouldn't have

and i immediately took it off. that's why you see the notification and not the blog.

sorry good folks.

you know how they say you find your stuff in the last place you look?

no shit cause you stop looking after that.

but they should've said. you find your stuff when you STOP looking.

which is exactly what i did. and i just found my wallet. that has been gone for a week.

uhm. i'm sorry. i don't mean to be flirty. i guess it's just how i talk..

not making excuses. it was stupid. i was wrong.

i have pokemon on my phone. pretty darn excited.

i will log about 2 hours a day. mostly.

uhhh life is eh.

ups and downs and all arounds.

i don't really like people. you can't trust them.

fraud ass people.

can't wait to graduate. another year. and i'm out.

i wanna go far. but i don't.

i just wanna be where no one knows me.

and then i will call myself trey. not trae or tre. trey, with a y.

cause i want to.

cause i can.

and if you don't like it.

you won't be there to do anything about it so SUCK IT.

farewell ;)

questions and deleting.

so i have two subjects for this blog, and i'm out.

Just do it. Don't make me beg. http://formspring.me/blackiechan503

^^^ that's my formspring.

i'm addicted to questions. i always have been.

i remember the first time i played the question game.

it was in 6th grade with katelynn craig.

haha its a damn shame i remember that, but we always called it our game.

but funny thing is that out of all the girls i had a crush on i didn't even like her

questions are the most fun thing to do.

you find stuff out about other people, and also it kinda relaxes.

once you get the mindset i'm going to answer everything

its actually quite liberating.

nothing is too taboo to answer.

and you kinda push your own limits.

and now deleting.

i'm talking about deleting blogs btw.

pretty much everyone does it.

the only reason i catch is because i'm on here at least once a day.

so as soon as someone publishes, i read it.

then later, i try to go back and it's unavailable.

it's quite depressing.

i know somethings are published in a certain mood.

then once that mood is gone, the blog should be gone too...

so i present a compromise.

how about, the emotional blogs. you save as a draft.

then later when you come back, you can publish it, or not.

that way my heart isn't broken when it's gone

blogs are my life. i love reading others peoples thoughts.

and when they disappear. quite disappointing.

:(

that's a blog. toodles.

headaches

sooo idk why.

but i'm doubting every decision i ever made right now.

as in, everything.

i want my life to be different, but it's like i'm too late to change anything

i'm floating along.

it's like, do i just give up. and go along.

or try to change things.

but if i change things, i'll regret it.

it's getting to the point where i'm not happy when i go home.

and going home is just a metaphor.

as in when i'm not immediately engaged in an activity

i'm sad. or rather. just not happy.

you and i. aren't progressing.

whenever it seems like we are actually getting somewhere.

we get in a fight, and have to start all over again.

hopefully i get to tell you this before you read this.

buuut last night, after you went to sleep or whatever.

i just sat down. and wondered.

can i really trust you.

i could at one point.

but then shit happens. another guy's in the picture.

i mean i get the feeling that you think your missing something.

and i'm more than willing to let you go, if that's whats best.

cause i don't want to compete for your love.

it's a situation i can't help.

i'm really just not into people right now.

i want to disappear.

what i'm serious about.

someone asked me what i was serious about.

i told them not much.

i think that's the best approximation of the truth.

the only thing i'm serious about is family and friends.

and by friends, i mean like 5 people.

everything else can go away

and i'll find something positive about it

life without football = more time

life without band = less stress

life without track = less pain

it's quite simple

i'm not dedicated to anything but myself.

and myself wants to be lazy.

so lazy i shall be.

i like reading <--- random

reading is my passion

i enjoy it more than anything else.

i get more involved in reading than anything else

it's the best escape from the world.

i immerse myself in a world of fantasy, where anything can happen

i dream about being in the books i read.

i'm disappointed when i wake up, and i'm not in the book anymore

as i read, i take sides, not always with the hero.

sometimes i think i relate more to the evil than the good

but evil is only subjective isn't it.

i read these stupid little articles on cracked.com

and it was about action heroes who should be charged with murder.

while watching the movies, except for transformers, i never thought of the impact on the surrounding people.

transformers however, i was thinking through all the fight scenes, whose gonna clean this shit up.

anyway, if you look from the other side, a lot of things could be justified by the greater good.

it's just the greater good of who you have to look out for...

i'm rambling. toodles.

Ups and Downs

life changes, there is only one constant.

you will die. at some point.

wednesday, death scared the shit out of me.

i have seen my greatgrandma die, but she was almost 90.

it almost took away a 16 year old boy. 2 days before his birthday.

it could have been anyone of us, and its really a shock.

but he's getting better now, and i'm getting less scared.

anyway. ups and downs.

not everyday's perfect, some are just plain bad.

my temper is shorter. though i'm not as confrontational.

i'd rather just be quiet, and walk away. run away rather.

runaway from problems, they can't catch up unless i let them.

i haven't written in my blog in forever, so i can't even think of everything to update.

i'm always fighting with at least one person, i'm seriously worried about... 2 people?

i'm constantly in pain now, ankle, back, knees.

i'm doing better as a student, kinda.

really i'm just trying to get the hell out of this house, so help me out? ask me to do something

i will, i'm never really all that busy...