wow

i can't seem to get out of this pissy ass mood.

everyday its something new, different.

i hate to complain, but its all i can do lately.

i don't like being me

i don't always like the way you treat me.

i know i'm supposed to forget what happened in the past.

but how can i.

and when you bring it up, i feel compelled to say what i'm actually thinking

like today, with the whole sudden break up.

i feel like that everytime.

and you continued to do it.

i know you don't plan on doing it again.

but did you ever really plan on breaking my heart.

i mean it makes you think.

well at least it makes me think.

apparently i'm losing touch with emotions.

i physically can't cry.

trust me, i tried to force myself to.

it doesn't help at all.

i want to be happy.

tomorrow starts my weight gain.

weight room for perhaps 3 hours? idk yet.

imma pick the world up and imma drop it on yo fuckin head.

the only lil wayne song where i actually like his rap, instead of just the other people or the beat

i am eternally pissed off. when does spring ball come.

i need to let out some anger.

i can't fucking wait to graduate.

you will never understand me. that's apparent.

what's worse is that you don't try.

you try to make me into something i will never be.

you don't support me, besides money.

you think that your the only one who is suffering

there is a reason i don't come home.

FUCK. will i ever be happy?

i want to be an ignorant little kid again.

who thought his dad was the greatest person who ever lived.

matter of fact, i need to call that asshole.

he did fund my trip.

which was pretty nice, though it was the first band trip i have gone on that i didn't fool around with anyone.

new developments.

i'm tired of not being able to trust people.

but the people that had it, lost it.

and few people had even earned it.

ha. such a pessimist...