late night blogging

it's the best kind.

uhm i'm tired, i never sleep enough.

even when i have time to sleep, i feel like i'm wasting it by being asleep.

cause if something is truly interesting, i won't be phased by fatigue.

but that's just me...

uh. so being vague always is room for trouble.

and even if i say its not someone, they don't believe me. <-- vague

cause i could be talking about any of my followers.

but if i put names, i feel rude, orrr too personal.

or maybe it would be too personal to tell exactly who i'm having a problem with.

cause then i would have to explain so much else <-- vague.

pretty sure that's grammatically incorrect.

ha i haven't totally thrown english out the window, yet.

i don't know what i want to major in, but i have a feeling it will be something boring.

like mathematics. but, i'd have to try.

and i don't like trying.

i like just getting by.

maybe that's why our relationship is so hard <-- vague

mm i could probably count the people i consider friends on my right hand.

the thing is, i wonder if i would even come up on their hands, and feet.

i don't like labeling myself, cause then i start acting as my label.

but i think misanthrope fits.- i don't like people.

and the people i can see myself liking, i don't really know how to be their friend.

cause its already the end of junior year.

and all the cool people leave.

i don't fit in anywhere.

i think its about time i go batshit crazy.

cause i have been holding it in too long..

i wish you'd just stop caring <-- vague.

though i have to clear that up.

i mean my parents. i wish they would just give me money, and let me worry about the rest.

church sucks, being home sucks.

not having a car really sucks.

cause having a car would mean, i could enjoy myself thoroughly.

not having a car means i always have to be with someone.

do you see the problem?

i hate having direction.

i want to just float.

there are45465343 things i could tell you.

but 0 of it would actually help anything.

i don't trust anyone. <-- vague

it's come down to that.

cause when you look at it, everyone has their own interest deep down.

and that's okay.

i guess it is just apart of growing up.

the only thing there with you to the end is God.

and i can't really say person cause He's not.

maybe i should get more in touch...

just know, i love you <-- vague

it doesn't look like that's gonna change.

buuuut i'm hurting <-- vague

and i don't really know why.

i want to crawl in a hole.

i think i will for the first week of summer, it seems like a good plan.

the more i think about it, the less i want to take another SAT.

i'm damn near set on OU.

i just need to visit and make sure there are enough black people.

cause like Will "Da Real One" Bell says.

"see made ourselves believe that we didn't need each other

but how many times have you been in an all white situation

and been so fucking glad just to see another brother"

cause honestly. i don't care how diverse you are, you still see color.

or maybe it's just me.

uhm. i don't know what else to say.

i wish it was easy.

i like being foggy.

i like poetry.

i really like poetry.

music is amazing.

i can hear the pain in screamo.

rap just really doesn't do it.

cept for trae.

haha take the bass outta your voice.

i can't, i'm a man.

^^ vague.

i'm vague. good night.