it's getting there...

i can not avoid the bad thoughts

though i will not let them consume me.

how dare you call yourself a friend.

smiling to my face, then doing that shit behind my back.

i have no desire to talk to you.

first i was gonna ask your side.

but i really don't give a fuck anymore.

one less person. who cares.

i'm an incredibly angry person.

i can feel it growing.

it distances me from the rest of the world.

sometimes it last a couple minutes.

sometimes it last a couple hours.

sometimes it last a couple days...

i never know until it happens...

i don't know what will set it off

it just boils up.

i want to hit something.

i want to cause pain.

but my self control is too good.

so i read.

i have been reading a lot.

in the past week or so, i have read at least... 5 books.

i want another break...

where i don't have to see anyone....

i forgot, i'm supposed to be happy.