so much

on my mind i don't even know what to write about.

i turned my phone off for a little while... perhaps i can clear my mind...

i never know what people expect from me.

seems like as soon as something goes wrong. i'm to blame

in reality. its not my fault at all...

partying has lost its interest to me...

i need a new release. something that will keep me out of the house more.

but that's kinda hard when you don't have a car :/

speaking of which. i will probably never get... thanks to certain people

once again. i feel like i'm being punished for those that came before me.

maybe its just my arrogance.

cause honestly.

no one can compare to me.

don't try. you will fail.

which is why. traditional parenting doesn't work for me.

cause i don't really see the point in putting me on punishment.

i do what i want anyway.

regardless if you yell and scream about how i'm not grown...

if it comes down to it. i'll just leave. and come back when i feel like it.

and don't try the whole change the locks and leave me outside...

cause i have plenty of places to stay at... unlike the others...

anyway...

like i said... too much on my mind...




to my SO

stop saying sorry. SSS

cause everytime you do. it makes me rethink the situation that i was previously okay with and come to a different conclusion about the seriousness of it as a whole...

and you can see where second guessing myself as a whole can be a large problem.




i wanna be far away from where i currently am.

a place i can sleep.

then awake and be alone.

loneliness isn't a problem for me.

i embrace it. selective pushing away people who would be close...

i have no idea what i'm talking about...